From childhood, we are taught to operate by what is known as a reward system. We are told that when we behave in a way that is deemed acceptable, we receive praise from others e.g. family, friends and society as a whole. This is not necessarily a flawed system but can quickly become dangerous if we base our whole existence on this principle.
It’s so easy to get lost in the sea of societal norms, such that when we analyse them and find the little TRUE significance that they hold in our lives, we regret submitting to them in the first place. This may include following family traditions and even belief systems that may work for the people who surround you, but don’t necessarily do the same for you.
Scanning the room in search of validation is something I know about all too well. I would spend countless hours trying to augment my opinions and life choices in ways that would please my family and friends who ultimately, had their own agendas. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to ensure that your loved ones aren’t hurt by your decisions, it is important to implement boundaries that ensure that you don’t end up losing yourself in the process.
The truth is, we will never live up to our full potential if we do not detach ourselves from the need to be validated. Learning to trust my own judgement granted me the freedom to step into the life that has ALWAYS been waiting for me, and it can do the same for you.